Ah yes, the old "you're holding it wrong" excuse. A favorite of apologists everywhere; especially Apple ones.It's just asinine to think something's "junk" because you want to use it in a way that it was not intended and it doesn't work.
He's right, and you know it. Not to mention that AirTags stupidly make noise even when I'm traveling WITH them. I have one hidden in my vehicle, and every time I leave home IN the vehicle with my iPhone, it starts chirping right behind me. Now I'm going to break it open and disable the noisemaker. But WTF, talk about dumb.