From dear old Bill Hicks, RIP...
"Now get this, I've been travelling all over the country on British Air. No smoking on British Air. Now let me get this straight, no smoking right but they allow children. Little fairness, huh?
"Well smoking bothers me."
Well guess what?
I was on this one flight right, I'm flying, I'm sleeping on the plane, I'm ****ing "knackered". Very tired right and I feel this tapping on my head. And I look up and there's this little kid - loose! on the ****ing plane, he's just loose. It's his playground in the sky. And he has decided that his job is to repetitively tap me on the top of the head.
I look across the aisle at his mom. She's just smiling, you know.
Guy next to the mom goes, "They're so cute when they're that small."
Isn't that amazing, letting your kid run loose on a ****ing plane. And then the kid runs over to the emergency exit and he starts flipping that handle to the door. And the guy next to the mom starts to get up, and I go, "Wait a minute... we're about to learn an important lesson right here."
Kwoooshh.
Why you're right, the smaller he gets, the cuter he is.
God, I wish I had a camera right now.
With a telescopic lens.
Like to get a picture of his face when his pudgy little legs hit that farmhouse down there.
Aah, aah, kids. Ha ha.
Stewardess, since we got a breeze in here can we smoke now? "