I don't know if this will help or hurt anyone's situation, but as of RIGHT NOW:
I ordered from apple.com
My order is "prepared for shipment"
I received an order confirmation from apple (which says the blerb at the bottom about having accepted the AT&T terms), a confirmation to my order SHIPPING address change, (I changed it from my home to work address) and a CSS email from apple.
The CSS email has details on my upgrade, and estimates my total next months bill after the $18 upgrade fee and all that.
I had the unlimited data plan, and didn't change it so it still shows that.
My upgrade date has changed, and is now 6/18/2011
The order was for a single 16GB (Black lol) iPhone 4. The number used was elligable for a full upgrade, and was part of a family plan. I did not however get more than 1 iPhone on any of the other lines.
I do not remember clicking any checkboxes about agreeing to AT&T stuff during my apple.com checkout, and subsequently did not recieve any emails from them after placing my order that told me to accept any terms.
The order initially was on hold on my credit card, both visibly and in reference to my current balance. NOW however, the balance has gone back down (to the amount not counting the iPhone) but the order still shows pending on this months running invoice.
Hope this helps somebody.