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Can you forgive someone for cheating on you?
- Thread starter Leareth
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Cheating in a relationship means there is not loyalty and making plans in the future is not a secure path.
That happen with any kind of relationship. If your partner cheated on you once means that you are not enough for him or her and they know it. Probably they are together with you or other interest, they may feel save, but not loving you; they may like you but there is not chemistry.
That happen with any kind of relationship. If your partner cheated on you once means that you are not enough for him or her and they know it. Probably they are together with you or other interest, they may feel save, but not loving you; they may like you but there is not chemistry.
After seeing what it did to my family? No, I could never forgive someone for cheating on me. No matter how much I love(d) them.
I can forgive but i cant forget. Although, finding out your lover has cheated on u could be a good thing. Like if u meet a really hot chick and want a freebie bone she cant say a word to u about it. hahahaha.
Bingo- Jealousy is useless, as I said before. Every once in a while, you just need a little something different. Understand that, and "cheating" will never be an issue.
That's true. I've been there before too. It's pretty cool. Maybe not for everybody, but I dig it.
It is interesting that this thread has popped up again. When I posted before I was single and so I was being very idealistic in the idea that if someone "cheated" on me it would be unforgivable. The idea at that time was that if someone slept with someone else while they were with me it was because they were not content with me. However, I must admit I was a virgin when I posted that.
Now without getting into too much details and changing the topic. I lost my virginity with the girl I am currently with, and while I love her very much and going on 5 months with her (the longest relationship I have ever had) but now I have the desire to try new things, something kinky, like perhaps a threesome (either with two girls and myself or another guy and my girlfriend). Vanessa doesn't want to do this as she wants us to be monogamous. My thinking is that since I would not be romantically involved with anyone else that it wouldn't take away from anything.
Cheating is deception, so let me revise what I said before. If Vanessa went and had a relationship behind my back with someone else that would be cheating and I probably would have an extremely hard time forgiving her. If she went and slept with someone else, as long as she didn't keep it from me it would not be cheating but if she did keep it from me it would be cheating and therefore hard for me to forgive her.
I would be willing to watch, but I know she wouldn't do that because for her she would feel as if she was being shared and that is something she has made clear she isn't into. Hence her not wanting to try a Ménage à Trois.
Now without getting into too much details and changing the topic. I lost my virginity with the girl I am currently with, and while I love her very much and going on 5 months with her (the longest relationship I have ever had) but now I have the desire to try new things, something kinky, like perhaps a threesome (either with two girls and myself or another guy and my girlfriend). Vanessa doesn't want to do this as she wants us to be monogamous. My thinking is that since I would not be romantically involved with anyone else that it wouldn't take away from anything.
Cheating is deception, so let me revise what I said before. If Vanessa went and had a relationship behind my back with someone else that would be cheating and I probably would have an extremely hard time forgiving her. If she went and slept with someone else, as long as she didn't keep it from me it would not be cheating but if she did keep it from me it would be cheating and therefore hard for me to forgive her.
I would be willing to watch, but I know she wouldn't do that because for her she would feel as if she was being shared and that is something she has made clear she isn't into. Hence her not wanting to try a Ménage à Trois.
This one's from the far far back of the shelf, innit.
I don't believe I could ever cheat on my wife. Even when I was younger I couldn't casually see two people at the same time. Mankind may not be monogomous by genetics, but it does seem to be my nature.
I would hope that, were I to find someone else who intrigued me that much, I would have the balls to talk with my wife about my new feelings and live with wherever the consequences would take me/us. That, in my mind, is not cheating. It's moving on.
Cheating is being faced with the opportunity to do something that you know will deeply hurt someone you love, and doing it anyway without talking to them about it first. At the point at which you have acted without prior discussion, you have cheated. That ain't me.
I don't believe I could ever cheat on my wife. Even when I was younger I couldn't casually see two people at the same time. Mankind may not be monogomous by genetics, but it does seem to be my nature.
I would hope that, were I to find someone else who intrigued me that much, I would have the balls to talk with my wife about my new feelings and live with wherever the consequences would take me/us. That, in my mind, is not cheating. It's moving on.
Cheating is being faced with the opportunity to do something that you know will deeply hurt someone you love, and doing it anyway without talking to them about it first. At the point at which you have acted without prior discussion, you have cheated. That ain't me.
Cheating is a break of trust (unless an "open" scenario is agreed to up-front). End it.
The other side of being alone, is being free.
Who can say what tomorrow will bring.
The other side of being alone, is being free.
Who can say what tomorrow will bring.
Nope, they'd all be rich and retired from their stock/race track/sports pics.
First breach of trust, yes I could forgive. Everyone deserves a second chance, but she would have to earn back some of the damage points she caused, as in showing her faithfulness. If a second time, I would ask her to leave and go with who ever the other person was. It would be obvious to me, she loves them more, than me.
You straight people and your hang-ups.
Seriously, you should never do something you don't want to. That's not right either. Neither is deception. But planned threesomes and such can really make your relationship tight. You'd surprised. But then, both parties have to agree.
After 5 months and you're getting bored with the regular way
Then again I'm pretty vanilla about all this. We're nearly 6 years down the line and we've only got the blindfold out a few times
Mostly it's probably down to individual situations. Me and my girlfriend don't drink, so there's no excuse for a "drunken kiss", whereas a drunken kiss might not be considered cheating by other folk.
Its nice to see this thread be resurrected.
I hadn't realized it was so long since I posted this thread.
I am not sure if I have forgiven the person in my case, but I know for sure that I haven't forgotten; the effects of being cheated on are still affecting my relationships with people - trust and honesty issues in general.
I know that I would not cheat on a person who has given me their trust, it can take a long time to build trust and one stupid thing can lose it in a instant.
I hadn't realized it was so long since I posted this thread.
I am not sure if I have forgiven the person in my case, but I know for sure that I haven't forgotten; the effects of being cheated on are still affecting my relationships with people - trust and honesty issues in general.
I know that I would not cheat on a person who has given me their trust, it can take a long time to build trust and one stupid thing can lose it in a instant.
It depends on what you classify as forgiveness...
Would I stay with such a person... NO.
Even if I forgave, I can guarantee that I absolutely would never forget and the trust would be gone. And in my experience most people who do such a thing and get away with it are more likely to do it again, with the betrayal becoming easier and easier each time.
And for me, the single most important aspect of a relationship is unconditional trust. Once that is gone, even still loving someone isn't enough to over come not trusting them.
Plus, no matter how much I would say I forgive someone, I know that I would punish them pretty much continuously after that... and I surely couldn't inflict that type of abuse (even if done subconsciously) on someone I love.
So honestly, if someone cheats on me, it is just better for both parties if we go are separate ways.
Would I stay with such a person... NO.
Even if I forgave, I can guarantee that I absolutely would never forget and the trust would be gone. And in my experience most people who do such a thing and get away with it are more likely to do it again, with the betrayal becoming easier and easier each time.
And for me, the single most important aspect of a relationship is unconditional trust. Once that is gone, even still loving someone isn't enough to over come not trusting them.
Plus, no matter how much I would say I forgive someone, I know that I would punish them pretty much continuously after that... and I surely couldn't inflict that type of abuse (even if done subconsciously) on someone I love.
So honestly, if someone cheats on me, it is just better for both parties if we go are separate ways.
Indeed. A similar rating on the judgment-o-meter.
To the chair with them!
To the chair with them!
Surely all three have to agree
Silly calculus. The third party has no say! We go out, find them and drag them back home, where they are tied to the bed post and forced to do our bidding!
It's only when we become bored that they are permitted to leave. By that time, they don't want to! 
I think everyone's definition of cheating is different. Having a relationship with someone other than the person you've built a home and a life with is cheating in my book. Sex? Not so much... but that said, I don't think I could deal with knowing. What you don't know...