Phil:(peeking into Steve's office) Steve, you wanted to see me?
Steve: Yeah, Phil. Sit down.
(Phil sits down)
Steve: Why are you doing this? Why are you telling Pogue our release schedules?
Phil: It's my thing.
Steve:Your...thing?
Phil:Yeah! My thing! You've got your "R-D-F", an' yo' "One More Thing". My thing is "givin' the masses what they want." I'm buildin' my street cred!
Steve: ...
Phil: (makes some rapper hand motions)
Steve: Stop.
Phil: (stops)Why are you so concerned? I just gave them months, "ish-y" months, even.
Steve: Because of this... (spins his iMac around to show Phil the screen) Have you read the forums today?
Phil: The...forums?
Steve: MacRumors, 9to5, Bidou..Bidet..that French one!
Phil: You...read the rumor sites?
Steve: In one statement, you've destroyed the Mac rumor mill.
Phil: I had no idea...why would you rea...
Steve: That's all I ever do! I read the rumor sites and then have Apple do the exact opposite. It's great fun. Why do you think we announced we were leaving the conference and I wasn't doing the keynote this year?
Phil: I thought it was your health?
Steve: (leaping out of his seat) Because while I'm up on stage I can't read what everyone is posting about what I'm going to announce! My best moments, and I can't even read about them until afterwards!
Phil: ...
Steve: Well, okay. I do sneak a peek during those bake-offs. That's why I did them every year. But that wasn't enough, so I started bringing in guest speakers. Finally, I said, "That's it. I just can't miss anything else they write about me." Now that you've revealed our release schedule, there's no reason for them to post about anything except during those dates you leaked. The only thing they'll be talking about in the off-months is your hair. Do you really think I want to read another post about your hair?!
Phil: (nervously)What are you going to do about it?
Steve: (sighs)I'm gonna have to fix it. Another new product they never saw coming should set a spark to them. (Pulls out his iPhone and dials R&D) Quentin? It's Steve. It's time to release Time Machine. (pauses)No, not update Time Machine. Release Time Machine. The real one. Next Tues- no WAIT! - next (pauses for dramatic effect) Wednesday ... at 3am! That'll really mess with their heads!
Steve: (giggles, and turns to Phil) Okay, Phil, you can go. Oh, and you have an appointment with a scalper today. Check your iCal.