Think she moved on, feel awful

[Scepticalscribe]

And no it’s not that easy bc while you may think it’s a transaction in your mind, in reality it is not that simple at all.
It’s all to easy for people to stereotype “her looks” for “his money” but the real world is different than whatever magazine article you’re reading these false narratives from

Actually, - while I do read Socrates, I don't read the sort of magazines you think may have inspired my post.

And, that transaction, or crude trade, "her looks (as an accessory to his lifestyle) in exchange for his money" is a trade that is as old as the hills.

Rather, I'm going by your own words (and presumably values) and what you have already written in many of your own earlier posts and threads: Threads which ask for guidance on how much other posters might think that a "hot" women (perfect 10s, or 11s, preferred) would cost to "keep", or what would be considered appropriate for you to pay her in "maintenance" and "gifts" per month; viewing women solely in terms of a decimal table of ranking, and what seems to be a clear obsession with material values (cars, apartments, incomes), and how this can best be flaunted.

 

[ericwn]

well I’m still moving on in the sense I’m looking for someone new and reconnecting with girls from my past but keeping her too, unless she moves - then fine i don’t care

and I’m fairly open about It without being rude to her bc id rather just be honest.

Why lie about these things or hide it?

at least if you’re honest there’s a chance things will change and if it stays the same and things aren’t meant to work it’s best to find out ASAP and move on with life

Yes if you’re honest you would explain to her that sex is really all you’re into.

 

[ericwn]

I said MOST people.

Oh the mob is always the opposite of smart. Many flies sit on a pile.

 

[retta283]

@Scepticalscribe made some really good points with his post.

Materialism is rampant nowadays, and it seems as if having a hot woman is something that falls into that. My woman is very attractive but I don't care to hear other people's "rating" of her appearance. I think she's beautiful and that's all that matters to me. Not to mention that I fell in love with her because the person she is, not because she's good looking. She's my best friend first, and sexual partner second. I'd take the friend part over the sex any day, but I guess I am in a minority there. Not to say the sex is bad, but that would get old real quick if that is all we did.

 

[Hieveryone]

Unless there has been a drastic shift since the late 1970s and I am blind to it, even somebody in their early 20s will want a partner that is at least somewhat intelligent. There will not be much depth or development if it is basically a sexual relationship. I do of course understand that younger people may put more value on looks, but there needs to be more substance for a true, long lasting relationship.

If we can wake up tomorrow without being too hung over that’d be an accomplishment let alone a long lasting relationship haha

 

[DarkKnight1968]

well I’m still moving on in the sense I’m looking for someone new and reconnecting with girls from my past but keeping her too, unless she moves - then fine i don’t care

and I’m fairly open about It without being rude to her bc id rather just be honest.

Why lie about these things or hide it?

at least if you’re honest there’s a chance things will change and if it stays the same and things aren’t meant to work it’s best to find out ASAP and move on with life

Plus, you’ll both be in high school next year and things will be different.

 

[Hieveryone]

Yes if you’re honest you would explain to her that sex is really all you’re into.

If that’s all I was into then there would be no problems.

 

[Huntn]

@Scepticalscribe made some really good points with his post.

Materialism is rampant nowadays, and it seems as if having a hot woman is something that falls into that. My woman is very attractive but I don't care to hear other people's "rating" of her appearance. I think she's beautiful and that's all that matters to me. Not to mention that I fell in love with her because the person she is, not because she's good looking. She's my best friend first, and sexual partner second. I'd take the friend part over the sex any day, but I guess I am in a minority there. Not to say the sex is bad, but that would get old real quick if that is all we did.

I grew up thinking that the most beautiful people, for myself-girls, were harder to deal with because, again my impression they had egos, had themselves up on the desirability pedestal. Now I‘l’ll admit that this is an unfair characterization, because there are very attractive people who don't have inflated egos. My wife is one of them. And, no she does not read MacRumors.

And in my youth, as I did not consider myself the most beautiful guy in the room, I tended to gravitate towards girls who were more average in appearance, more focused on their personalities, which always wins over looks. You can be the most beautiful person on the planet, but if you have a poor personality, you might always have company, but you won’t have good relationships.

And sex? As a general characterization, while friendship abundantly exists on its own merits, sex is a huge motivator that drives youthful, in the reproductive zone, human relationships.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

@Huntn: Attired in a naval officer's uniform, I'm willing to bet that you looked just fine.

Re sex, yes, of course it is a driver and major motivation in forming relationships - especially when young - but, by itself, it will not sustain a relationship (especially for women as time goes on and the unceasing challenge and occasional burden of caring responsibilities kick in) in the absence of kindness, respect, support, wit, intelligence, affection, love, and friendship.

If that’s all I was into then there would be no problems.

From your posts that is all that you seem to be into, that, and the ego gratification of having a "hot woman" as an arm candy accessory with whom you ca impress other guys.

However, it is perfectly possible that you would face other problems, such as: They're not 'hot enough"; they are "too materialistic"; they are "too shallow".

 

[Expos of 1969]

Perhaps it would be best if posts from Hieveryone in this thread were ignored. What a lot of nonsense. He is either having you on or requires professional help.

 

[Hieveryone]

I grew up thinking that the most beautiful people, for myself-girls, were harder to deal with because, again my impression they had egos, had themselves up on the desirability pedestal. Now I‘l’ll admit that this is an unfair characterization, because there are very attractive people who don't have inflated egos. My wife is one of them. And, no she does not read MacRumors.

And in my youth, as I did not consider myself the most beautiful guy in the room, I tended to gravitate towards girls who were more average in appearance, more focused on their personalities, which always wins over looks. You can be the most beautiful person on the planet, but if you have a poor personality, you might always have company, but you won’t have good relationships.

And sex? As a general characterization, while friendship abundantly exists on its own merits, sex is a huge motivator that drives youthful, in the reproductive zone, human relationships.

They do have egos but not with guys they like. Mainly just with guys who want to get with them but can’t and with other girls.

For example, if they find a tall, athletic, young, successful professional guy who they like, they won’t have an ego with him.

But I agree with the rest of what you said actually.

I’ve also decided to stick with her for now. I really do like her in my heart. We had An amazing conversation last night that really made me see her differently.

She’s simply amazing.

I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with bc I have a heavy personality and yet she’s still nice to me. And she doesn’t even want much from me at all which still blows my mind bc I’m so used to greedy women.

She must REALLY like me to put up with me which makes me feel amazing. And makes me like her even more.

She’s also not the easiest person to deal with but she’s really changed.
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@Huntn: Attired in an officer's naval uniform, I'm willing to bet that you looked just fine.

Re sex, yes, of course it is a driver and major motivation in forming relationships - especially when young - but, by itself, it will not sustain a relationship (especially for women as time goes on and the unceasing challenge and occasional burden of caring responsibilities kick in) in the absence of kindness, support, wit, intelligence, affection, love, and friendship.



From your posts that is all that you seem to be into, that, and the ego gratification of having a "hot woman" as an arm candy accessory with whom you ca impress other guys.

However, it is perfectly possible that you would face other problems, such as: They're not 'hot enough"; they are "too materialistic"; they are "too shallow".

What you’re not understanding is that we are human beings and while we may have certain superficial desires that drive us at the end of the day we are humans with emotions not robots.

 

[D.T.]

I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with bc I have a heavy personality [...]

I'm not sure __heavy__ is the word you're looking for ...

 

[MSastre]

After reading 11 pages of the OP's drivel, it seems to me that this thread is just a spoof designed to increase his post count. Over and out.

 

[bunnspecial]

Re sex, yes, of course it is a driver and major motivation in forming relationships - especially when young - but, by itself, it will not sustain a relationship (especially for women as time goes on and the unceasing challenge and occasional burden of caring responsibilities kick in) in the absence of kindness, support, wit, intelligence, affection, love, and friendship.

One thing that I think is important to remember:

Who doesn't want to have a relationship with someone that they find attractive? There's nothing inherently wrong with seeking out people that you yourself find attractive, and it can be the basis of the initial "spark" that gets a relationship going


At the end of the day, though, looks are a fleeting thing. As people age, their appearance changes. That doesn't mean that they become unattractive, but it's hard to get around the fact that someone is going to look a lot different at 40 or 60 than they look at 20. Even worse, you never know when someone will be a car accident or whatever else life might throw in their way that completely disfigures them and makes their appearance into something totally different.

If you truly care about the person, though, none of that matters. Physical attraction is not a bad thing, personality and temperament are what you really are for "in the long haul."

I find my fiancée amazingly beautiful, but if she woke up tomorrow looking nothing like she does today, she's still be the same intelligent, truly kind hearted, hard working, sometimes sarcastic, but overwhelmingly faithful and honest person I fell in love with and who I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Despite what the OP may say repeatedly, I can't help but feel that there's an ever-present undercurrent of focusing on attraction and materialism in any relationship(whether real or fictional) that they talk about. Hopefully the OP will grow up one of these days and figure this all out.

 

[Hieveryone]

One thing that I think is important to remember:

Who doesn't want to have a relationship with someone that they find attractive? There's nothing inherently wrong with seeking out people that you yourself find attractive, and it can be the basis of the initial "spark" that gets a relationship going


At the end of the day, though, looks are a fleeting thing. As people age, their appearance changes. That doesn't mean that they become unattractive, but it's hard to get around the fact that someone is going to look a lot different at 40 or 60 than they look at 20. Even worse, you never know when someone will be a car accident or whatever else life might throw in their way that completely disfigures them and makes their appearance into something totally different.

If you truly care about the person, though, none of that matters. Physical attraction is not a bad thing, personality and temperament are what you really are for "in the long haul."

I find my fiancée amazingly beautiful, but if she woke up tomorrow looking nothing like she does today, she's still be the same intelligent, truly kind hearted, hard working, sometimes sarcastic, but overwhelmingly faithful and honest person I fell in love with and who I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Despite what the OP may say repeatedly, I can't help but feel that there's an ever-present undercurrent of focusing on attraction and materialism in any relationship(whether real or fictional) that they talk about. Hopefully the OP will grow up one of these days and figure this all out.

I agree that attraction is important. If you look your best it’ll only help you meet more people and find someone to marry (hopefully)

Looks are fleeting but if you start dating a very attractive girl in her early 20s, get married, and enjoy her beauty for 20 or so years I think that’s a lot better than never having enjoyed a woman’s beauty ever.

It’s fleeting but might as well enjoy it while you can.

People might argue beauty isn’t just physical looks but it’s a major component of it in the society we live in if you’re being 100% honest.

 

[Huntn]

@Huntn: Attired in an officer's naval uniform, I'm willing to bet that you looked just fine.

Re sex, yes, of course it is a driver and major motivation in forming relationships - especially when young - but, by itself, it will not sustain a relationship (especially for women as time goes on and the unceasing challenge and occasional burden of caring responsibilities kick in) in the absence of kindness, support, wit, intelligence, affection, love, and friendship.



From your posts that is all that you seem to be into, that, and the ego gratification of having a "hot woman" as an arm candy accessory with whom you ca impress other guys.

However, it is perfectly possible that you would face other problems, such as: They're not 'hot enough"; they are "too materialistic"; they are "too shallow".

Yes agreed, in human relationships, sex is a usual, predominant motivator, physical attractiveness plays a huge part, but personality attractiveness triumphs in relationships.
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They do have egos but not with guys they like. Mainly just with guys who want to get with them but can’t and with other girls.

For example, if they find a tall, athletic, young, successful professional guy who they like, they won’t have an ego with him.

But I agree with the rest of what you said actually.

I’ve also decided to stick with her for now. I really do like her in my heart. We had An amazing conversation last night that really made me see her differently.

She’s simply amazing.

I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with bc I have a heavy personality and yet she’s still nice to me. And she doesn’t even want much from me at all which still blows my mind bc I’m so used to greedy women.

She must REALLY like me to put up with me which makes me feel amazing. And makes me like her even more.

She’s also not the easiest person to deal with but she’s really changed.
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What you’re not understanding is that we are human beings and while we may have certain superficial desires that drive us at the end of the day we are humans with emotions not robots.

Is this the same person, you started this thread talking about?

I’d say an ego is an ego, or dividing the human race up into tiers, a personal standard, and for the “lessers” you treat them differently (Not talking about you). That rule about the person who has the least interest in a relationships controls it, goes as far as deciding if the relationship even starts.

 

[ericwn]

I agree that attraction is important. If you look your best it’ll only help you meet more people and find someone to marry (hopefully)

Looks are fleeting but if you start dating a very attractive girl in her early 20s, get married, and enjoy her beauty for 20 or so years I think that’s a lot better than never having enjoyed a woman’s beauty ever.

It’s fleeting but might as well enjoy it while you can.

People might argue beauty isn’t just physical looks but it’s a major component of it in the society we live in if you’re being 100% honest.

What a great display of your own ignorance. The core message of the post you are quoting to try to make it fit to your hollow life of superficial looks:

If you really care about a person none of this matters.

 

[Hieveryone]

What a great display of your own ignorance. The core message of the post you are quoting to try to make it fit to your hollow life of superficial looks:

If you really care about a person none of this matters.

Makeup doesn’t sell by itself.
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Yes agreed, in human relationships, sex is a usual, predominant motivator, physical attractiveness plays a huge part, but personality attractiveness triumphs in relationships.
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Is this the same person, you started this thread talking about?

I’d say an ego is an ego, or dividing the human race up into tiers, a personal standard, and for the “lessers” you treat them differently (Not talking about you). That rule about the person who has the least interest in a relationships controls it, goes as far as deciding if the relationship even starts.

Usually guys who aren’t in the same league as a hot woman will feel the brunt of her ego but they’re nice to guys they like. Usually good looking and successful guys

 

[ericwn]

Makeup doesn’t sell by itself.

That doesn’t change the fact it’s also superficial.

Btw: once you found the right one, the word drama doesn’t even come to mind. Until that day you’re likely messing with the wrong one. The right one will also not be off and on or playing. These are hollow tasks for folks unable to leave the superficial behind.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

Attraction is one thing, but few genuine relationships last long - or are worth sustaining - without affection and respect.

 

[Hieveryone]

That doesn’t change the fact it’s also superficial.

Btw: once you found the right one, the word drama doesn’t even come to mind. Until that day you’re likely messing with the wrong one. The right one will also not be off and on or playing. These are hollow tasks for folks unable to leave the superficial behind.

It also doesn't change the fact that society IS superficial. Have you lived in LA?
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Attraction is one thing, but few genuine relationships last long - or are worth sustaining - without affection and respect.

If someone chooses not to look nice they're only hurting their own dating pool.

 

[ericwn]

It also doesn't change the fact that society IS superficial. Have you lived in LA?

Sure. Blame society for yourself.

I have been to LA plenty times. Life is what you make of it. You chose to keep superficial, that’s fine, but don’t try to blame it on others.

 

[Hieveryone]

Sure. Blame society for yourself.

I have been to LA plenty times. Life is what you make of it. You chose to keep superficial, that’s fine, but don’t try to blame it on others.

I blame those who choose not to fit in society for their own complaints about society.

You can't say society is superficial and then say I'm not going to be but it's society's fault.

 

[ericwn]

If someone chooses not to look nice they're only hurting their own dating pool.

Nice is personal preference and means different things to different people.

 

[ericwn]

I blame those who choose not to fit in society for their own complaints about society.

You can't say society is superficial and then say I'm not going to be but it's society's fault.

Oh and you are to decide for all of us who fits and doesn’t. Right. Joke of the day.

I also didn’t claim that society is superficial. That was you. Get it together man.