Children have never been any different. Philip Larkin (This Be The Verse) had the right idea, and this man bears it out exceptionally well.
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055
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Fathers Reaction To Facebook Post
- Thread starter tktaylor1
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http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/178055
I agree with skunk, but i think society was different, i see more indifference, and not sure how else to put it, but in general just worse nowadays. less values, i'm not sure i'd like to bring a kid into the world as it is today.
Oh please. The kid was being the obnoxious little ****. The father did good teaching her a lesson.
Kids (and just people in general) were so much better and respectful before we as a society turned in to a bunch of coddling little pansies.
you really have no idea. I don't pretend to know what's going on in the minds of people I can't relate to, neither should you
swingerofbirch
macrumors 68040
The video was disturbing. The reactions I saw to it by friends on Facebook shocked me. I thought MacRumors was comprised of a group of people fairly similar in nature to me, but the reactions here have shocked me as well.
The man seems very distressed, violent, and threatening, and based on his Facebook page he seems to have a very self-aggrandized personality. I am concerned for both him and his family, especially given that he apparently divorced his daughter's mother only a year ago to remarry.
I don't think anyone is bad, but I feel like the effect of what he is doing is to make his daughter feel powerless and worthless. People in that state don't make great decisions.
At 15 years old, a person should enjoy being a child and expressing her feelings. Children are individuals from birth and to not have the ability to express yourself at 15 is disturbing. I think it's important to help a person to trust their inner voice.
Her expression seems completely normal and healthy versus creating a video where firearms are used to destroy valuable property. Her complaints in the letter even struck me as very normal. I realize there are cultural differences in how people relate to their children, but I strongly disagree with controlling children through psychological intimidation and marginalization.
I believe it is unreasonable for parents to have children for the purpose of being "help" around the house, such as doing an inordinate number of chores around the house, take care of other children you bear, or take care of your own affairs. Children do not ask to be born. If you bear children, it is your responsibility to help them find their voice, their desires, meaning and purpose, and nurture their will, not to break it into depressed resignation.
What's interesting, however, is that in a culture where this type of behavior is normal, it's possible the child is less affected than I would have been. If anyone had ever talked to me in this way and acted in such a violent way in my presence, I would have been devastated, but that is because I am used to people being rational, reserved, and simply from an entirely different culture (I read over his rantings on Facebook to draw some of these conclusions regarding culture).
However, even within what I see as a very unusual and frankly bizarre set of behavior, there does seem to be some sort of belief in a logical order and consistency, and so maybe if in his culture this is acceptable, it won't be as damaging as I imagine for the daughter.
I think more and more controversial issues come to light because of our interconnected nature which bridges cultural divides. This happened in a part of North Carolina where the police apparently congratulated the father on his behavior. In the past if news of something like this didn't spread to other areas, other cultures, it might have not been regarded by some, such as myself, as out of the order of logic and life.
Now, the one thing I will say, is that if I were a parent, I probably would be embarrassed for my child if they wrote something that showed any type of distress. I tend to keep my Facebook postings very up and up. But I mean, there's the art of talking for an issue like that. When I was young, I can remember my parents saying how healthy it was that we would get upset at home because school was very stressful (I was a very high achieving child in challenging classes from an early age), and they always said it was better to get upset at them at home than at school. At school I would have felt scandalized if anyone had seen me in a less than positive light. I was a very self-policed child, you might say. I felt I had to exceed everyone's expectations of me, and that came from a very internal place. My parents told me that school was my job, and so I took that seriously. They weren't perfect parents of course. You need a self of worth outside of school.
Anyhow, I digress. That video disturbed me. And in the end, it was all about the man in the video. He was seriously upset about how she referred to a cleaning lady? As he threw cigarettes and cursed embarrassing his family . . . I think this is an unfortunate confluence of megalomania and an audience adding fuel to the fire.
The man seems very distressed, violent, and threatening, and based on his Facebook page he seems to have a very self-aggrandized personality. I am concerned for both him and his family, especially given that he apparently divorced his daughter's mother only a year ago to remarry.
I don't think anyone is bad, but I feel like the effect of what he is doing is to make his daughter feel powerless and worthless. People in that state don't make great decisions.
At 15 years old, a person should enjoy being a child and expressing her feelings. Children are individuals from birth and to not have the ability to express yourself at 15 is disturbing. I think it's important to help a person to trust their inner voice.
Her expression seems completely normal and healthy versus creating a video where firearms are used to destroy valuable property. Her complaints in the letter even struck me as very normal. I realize there are cultural differences in how people relate to their children, but I strongly disagree with controlling children through psychological intimidation and marginalization.
I believe it is unreasonable for parents to have children for the purpose of being "help" around the house, such as doing an inordinate number of chores around the house, take care of other children you bear, or take care of your own affairs. Children do not ask to be born. If you bear children, it is your responsibility to help them find their voice, their desires, meaning and purpose, and nurture their will, not to break it into depressed resignation.
What's interesting, however, is that in a culture where this type of behavior is normal, it's possible the child is less affected than I would have been. If anyone had ever talked to me in this way and acted in such a violent way in my presence, I would have been devastated, but that is because I am used to people being rational, reserved, and simply from an entirely different culture (I read over his rantings on Facebook to draw some of these conclusions regarding culture).
However, even within what I see as a very unusual and frankly bizarre set of behavior, there does seem to be some sort of belief in a logical order and consistency, and so maybe if in his culture this is acceptable, it won't be as damaging as I imagine for the daughter.
I think more and more controversial issues come to light because of our interconnected nature which bridges cultural divides. This happened in a part of North Carolina where the police apparently congratulated the father on his behavior. In the past if news of something like this didn't spread to other areas, other cultures, it might have not been regarded by some, such as myself, as out of the order of logic and life.
Now, the one thing I will say, is that if I were a parent, I probably would be embarrassed for my child if they wrote something that showed any type of distress. I tend to keep my Facebook postings very up and up. But I mean, there's the art of talking for an issue like that. When I was young, I can remember my parents saying how healthy it was that we would get upset at home because school was very stressful (I was a very high achieving child in challenging classes from an early age), and they always said it was better to get upset at them at home than at school. At school I would have felt scandalized if anyone had seen me in a less than positive light. I was a very self-policed child, you might say. I felt I had to exceed everyone's expectations of me, and that came from a very internal place. My parents told me that school was my job, and so I took that seriously. They weren't perfect parents of course. You need a self of worth outside of school.
Anyhow, I digress. That video disturbed me. And in the end, it was all about the man in the video. He was seriously upset about how she referred to a cleaning lady? As he threw cigarettes and cursed embarrassing his family . . . I think this is an unfortunate confluence of megalomania and an audience adding fuel to the fire.
we get it ... she's young. Big deal. The spoon-feeding needs to stop. teenagers in this country are INCREDIBLY disrespectful. It's a product of our entitled society. The world is changing and teens need to learn that the adult world they are entering is going to be very very difficult compared to their coddled current situations.
swingerofbirch
macrumors 68040
She goes to school full-time. She has a nutjob for a father. She does a lot of chores for her father. She's a teenager.
What life as an adult do you imagine is much more stressful than that? Yes, being the president is more stressful than that. But most people's lives are not much more stressful than that. School is like a job. I can't imagine most adults I know being able to sit through 7 classes a day with a 20 minute lunch and being lectured at all day long. That's the equivalent of a full's day of workand not a terribly satisfying one either. Many students do not only that but also go on to play sports and work after school in addition to hours of homework. I can't imagine having the energy to do what I did in high school. I would go to school all day, often have forensics and debate tournaments I wouldn't get back from until 2 AM, do homework, get a few hours of sleep and go to school again the next day. This girl sounds like she has a full day of school and we know she at the least has a laundry list of chores to do when she gets home. And do you really know for a fact that teenagers in general are disrespectful in this country? Did you think her father showed any signs of respect for himself or his family at all?
Reading through this thread, I think it's fairly easy to spot the posters who were (or still are) spoiled brat children themselves.
i disagree that his actions were over the top. he bought the notebook. he can do whatever he wants with it.
the guy is not perfect and the way i read it, he has tried other ways of punishment. but the kids nowadays (impossible).
some say using a gun was not a good decision. what if he ran over it with a car, would some of you guys agree more with him? i believe so.
finally, i believe there are other, better ways to teach and discipline a child. but if given the choice between shooting a laptop or hitting a child/teen, i'd go with the first option.
Ah, the Good Old Days, when everybody knew their place and respected their elders even when their elders were complete pricks.
Yes, its a lesson that she'll not easily forget.You think you can make it stick with a .45?
Did you guys really watch the whole thing?
Or just skip to the end?
I got bored after a few minutes and couldn't keep watching
Never saw the end myself
Seems as though this was something that should have been handled in the home, not in a video or with a gun
Then again, sounds like the nut didn't fall too far from that tree anyway
Or just skip to the end?
I got bored after a few minutes and couldn't keep watching
Never saw the end myself
Seems as though this was something that should have been handled in the home, not in a video or with a gun
Then again, sounds like the nut didn't fall too far from that tree anyway
To learn what nutty parents look like.
Well, break out the .44 Magnum and shoot up his Thomas the Train. That'll learn 'im.I have a nephew that my brother and his wife let him do anything he wants, he's the brattiest kid i've ever known and he's not 2yrs old yet
The more I think about it, the more I'm concerned about the calculated way he approached this "discipline". This was not some off-the-cuff reaction. He did this very calmly and methodically. And extreme acts carried out calmly and methodically are usually the hallmarks of sociopathic tendencies. I know, that's conjecture, but if the video fits....
I'm a father who truly cares about my kids' character. Sometimes, you do have to bring it to their level and sometimes it doesn't work.
I fully understand this guy I just hope that it worked for the family's sake. I'd hate for this to be the family's only legacy.
That's a very good point. As opposed to a furious father shouting "consequences will never be the same" (check it out on YouTube if you haven't seen it) into the camera, this man is cold and resentful against his own offspring. Almost like a vengeful God as described in the Old Testament. He may be a great colleague and a hard-working employee that I would be proud to have on my team, but I wonder why on earth he got children.
This can be applied to participants on either side of the discussion. So what makes it easy to see that they ever were spoiled brat children?
True. Whatever the situation was, I'm sure this is going to make it worse.
He's certainly not the sort of loving, understanding parent one might wish for.
I think you're right here. This is a more militaristic and puritanical way of dealing with problems than one might find in Western Europe. If that's seen as the norm, the child might find it more acceptable.
In the UK he would be arrested, and there's a high probability his child would be taken into care.
I wish my life got easier after high school, but I suspect for 99% of people get more responsibilities and more obligations after high school.
